Why I No Longer Identify As A Swinger/Lifestyler

Sex Ed for the Modern Bed
8 min readNov 3, 2020
Photo by Yuris Alhumaydy on Unsplash

About a month before writing this article, I shared publicly on social media that I just didn’t resonate with being part of the Lifestyle/Swinger community any longer. After seven years of identifying and even being a leader to this community, something in me shifted and I changed my mind. This doesn’t mean that I am monogamous, we still practice Ethical Non Monogamy, but we put a big emphasis on the ETHICAL part and put the ETHICAL before NON MONOGAMY.

Some people understood right away and echoed similar feelings to mine. Others wanted to know more and understand how/why I felt this way. So that is what I am sharing today. Please remember this is my opinion of the things I have been involved in and seen during my last seven years. The person I was seven years ago is not the person I am now. The things and situations that did not provoke these feelings previously, started to over time as I aligned more with who I was deep down and the true calling of my soul. I didn’t turn a blind eye, I just didn’t put my consciousness fully into what I was doing and didn’t see any issues or problems. Until I started to see the cycles, same stories, same things happening I genuinely thought these were “one-off” things and didn’t pay them much attention. If you don’t resonate or see things the same way I do, that’s ok too. Obviously you have not been in the situations I have in the last seven years and your perspective isn’t going to be the same as mine.

About six months leading up the covid, I had some stirrings in my soul about things that just weren’t sitting right with me within the Lifestyle/Swinger community. However, I was pretty preoccupied with travelling, events, lights, camera and the razzle dazzle of being a leader and a big part of this “likeminded” community. The truth is, I didn’t want to acknowledge a lot of the issues/cycles I was seeing. Instead, I focused on gently leading with my integrity in mind and hoping things would get better or change.

They didn’t. Once covid hit, it all seemed to get worse and came completely crashing down on me.

From the start of covid, we were quite vocal about the state of my health (I am immune-compromised) and the fact that we were halting play in order to put our health (and lives) first as well as the other people we were around…

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Sex Ed for the Modern Bed

Helping openminded folks cultivate personal expansion and uncover how to experience pleasurable and fulfilling eroticism.