Rules & Boundaries in Non Monogamous Relationships — what they are, why you need them & how to communicate them

Sex Ed for the Modern Bed
4 min readMay 4, 2020

Rules and boundaries build the foundation for your experience in an open relationship. Below I discuss what exactly rules and boundaries are, why you need to establish them and how to communicate them to other couples!

If there is one thing I have learned while exploring a non-monogamous relationship, it’s that awareness of my rules and boundaries is everything. As a couple, this is something you discuss and come up with together. These are things you set for yourself and as a couple. Boundaries are not rules. Boundaries and rules are two different things. However, they each come from a place of love for yourself and as a result I view them as practicing self-love.

Photo by isaac jarnagin on Unsplash

I read an analogy from a great article describing boundaries vs. rules. If there was a fence around a property with a no trespassing sign, your boundaries would be the fence and your rule would be the sign. Click! Makes a lot of sense! They are about you, what you need, what you are comfortable with. Understanding where your boundaries lay is important for any relationship you are in. Boundaries are not enforced — they are communicated. Rules are enforced. Rules are usually set in stone. They are things you are not comfortable trying or doing. They are not very flexible.

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Sex Ed for the Modern Bed
Sex Ed for the Modern Bed

Written by Sex Ed for the Modern Bed

Helping openminded folks cultivate personal expansion and uncover how to experience pleasurable and fulfilling eroticism.

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