Ethical Non Monogamy & Kink Terminology

Sex Ed for the Modern Bed
5 min readJun 12, 2020

For some of the more seasoned Lifestyler’s and Non Monogamists reading this, these terms are probably old news. But to a lot of new couples interested in exploring themselves, even talking to other couples can be intimidating when you don’t know what they are saying or asking! I compiled a list below of the more common ones I hear. Remember we were all new at this at some point — even me!

Photo by Jaredd Craig on Unsplash
  • 420: Code word used by marijuana smokers to let other couples or singles know they are smokers.
  • Bareback: Intercourse without using a condom.
  • Bi-comfortable: Someone who has had some experience with someone of the same sex (light fondling, kissing, etc.) and realized that while they are comfortable with it they really prefer to play with people of the opposite sex.
  • Bi-curious: Someone interested in exploring their bisexuality. Usually this person has had little to no experience exploring with someone of the same sex.
  • Bi-sexual: Someone who takes pleasure in sexual play with people of both genders. i.e. ME!
  • D&D Free: Drug and disease free. Some people do not label marijuana as drugs and some do. If it is a problem or health concern to you, be sure ask. You are allowed to communicate!
  • Dogging: I actually did not know this one! So this is what I could put together! This usually takes place in parking lots, where couples and singles meet up to have sex in their cars. Depending on the group, some will swap partners, some singles will be there looking for couples or other singles and some will just be exhibitionist and want others to watch.
  • DP: An abbreviation used for double penetration. This means a women has two guys at once; one anally and one vaginally.
  • Drama free: A term used to suggest a couple or single that is comfortable in The Lifestyle and with their sexuality. Typically, they are free of jealousy and bickering leading to less awkward moments and a sexy fun night!
  • Drama: A term sometimes used by couples of The Lifestyle to describe a couple or single who was not/is not ready to be in The Lifestyle. This is often labelled with jealousy and fighting when out at events with others in The Lifestyle. This can be to lack of communication…



Sex Ed for the Modern Bed

Helping openminded folks cultivate personal expansion and uncover how to experience pleasurable and fulfilling eroticism.